The first single from our debut full-length album “A Fearful Wonder” was released on March 15 of 2019. We had spent the last three years playing one-off shows here and there, leaving people intrigued but puzzled by our sound, and without having any single song that perfectly encapsulated everything that was the “Kozen” sonic aesthetic. To The Wind became that summary statement, and quickly our most popular song.

I happened to be finishing up my M.Div (Masters of Divinity) while we were working on the album, and the seminary experience definitely influenced this song. Mostly, I had to come to terms with what it meant for me to keep my faith while knowing I didn’t fit within the expectations of others. It was interesting to some, but strange to most among my seminary peers, that I was actively involved in heavy music. There were many voices telling me that I wouldn't be able to occupy that space while also pursuing ministry. This, of course, might have been a non-issue for people in other faith traditions, but in mine it was quite a problem.

At the same time, I found myself watching denominational politics unfold in real time. I saw institutional support for unfair practices, and leaders dragging their feet in addressing pressing moral issues. I knew my faith in God was settled. I knew that my involvement in the church had been formative in my life and would continue on in some way or another. But I knew that certain ways of being proximate to, and therefore supportive of, certain kinds of institutional power and authority would not be congruent with my own convictions. I before I even had the chance to graduate, I knew I would have to chart an unconventional way forward. 

Saying “Let the walls give way, they can’t keep me safe” was a real catharsis as I found myself more and more emotionally stifled by the atmosphere, lifestyle, and culture build around going into ministry. It all felt strangely at odds with where God was leading me. And seeing how others were falling through the cracks of institutional oversights and priorities, I knew I couldn't over-invest my heart. 

The years since I completed the program saw me working in other capacities—writing, video editing, fundraising, content creation, and so on. It has been circuitous, and at times challenging, but I've managed to keep to my convictions and spare my faith the strain of professionalized inconsistency. 

For me, the song was born as an affirmation of faith rather than a rejection of it. Jericho and Jared wrote the original instrumental demo, which had the working title “(Caution) To The Wind.”

Jericho pitched the idea of “throwing caution to the wind in your pursuit of truth,” which I really did resonate with. But It was ever so slightly to the side of what I was going through at the time.

I knew, or at least suspected, that within my own tradition I would never be fully allowed to express of use my gifts or creativity and be in full-time ministry. And I had to follow the implications of that truth where they led.

When it came time to making the music video, I wanted to capture the idea of “information overload.” Matt Hamilton (Firesight Films) did a great job bringing that vision to life.

We pulled together tons of quotations from different philosophers, authors, and religions, and tried to create an overwhelming “wall of words” throughout the video. Too much to process. Tons of colours constantly flashing.

It was an image of what it felt like trying to make responsible and life-altering career decisions while also trying to just push through my masters degree. And I suspect that’s what it can feel like for others navigating our contemporary media landscape.

I’ve often explained this song as being about a “theological tower of babel.” Human pride and vanity assumes it can confidently encompass and comprehend the divine. This is a mistake. And all too often, we allow our neatly-organized belief systems, our perfectly arranged systematic theologies, to delude us into thinking we have every last little detail figured out.

Too often, this means that things that might otherwise be easily fixed, little mistakes turn into deeply entrenched positions that feel life-threatening to let go of. What ought to be little corrections turn into crises of faith, the collapse of identity, and threats to communities. The “wind” - in this song, the Spirit of God - comes to free us from this delusion. Not to destroy faith, but to build it on something more real. 

Seven years on, this song still remains a favourite and one of our crowning achievements as a band. I hope that it continues to be a source of inspiration, hope, and affirmation for all those who have similarly decided to throw caution to the wind in their pursuit of truth, who are willing to look beyond their assumptions for whatever leads to a better understanding of ultimate reality. 

-Max

TO THE WIND

We built a wall made out of words
To try to keep us safe
We built that wall into towers
With keepers at the gates
Now I want to find out what is real
Not just what they told me I should feel
I saw a light from the outside
A window opened wide

And if I don’t belong here in this place
Let the walls give way
They can’t keep me safe
And if the words are wrong
Find out what’s fake
Throw it away to the wind
And start again

Backspace on bricks around the frame
Remove the windowpanes
The wind could blow this house away
Erase the phrases out of place
My faith, my heart rose to the wind
And I don’t know where it will lead me
I don’t know where to begin
But I’ll take my chances just to find
A firmer foundation

And if I don’t belong here in this place
Let the walls give way
They can’t keep me safe
And if the words are wrong
Find out what’s fake
Throw it away to the wind
And start again

Let the walls give way
Backspace what’s fake
throw it away
They can’t keep me safe
I’ll hold to my faith and find a new way
I’ll find a new way

And if I don’t belong here in this place
Let the walls give way
They can’t keep me safe
And if the words are wrong
Find out what’s fake
Throw it away to the wind
And start again